This picture inspires me. You would think as obsessed as I am about organization that this would inspire me to go clean out my cluttered inbox and shred up all my junk mail, but that's not it. This is a picture from an exhibit I saw in DC a few years ago at the Freer Gallery called In The Beginning, The Bible Before the Year 1000. I was fascinated. I saw it three times and would see it again in a heartbeat.

The idea that these monks spent their lives copying the scriptures to pass on to future generations amazed me. So much so that I actually decided to give it a try. I spent my Thanksgiving vacation that year bent over a table intent on copying the book of James. I wanted to try it for myself and well, James is pretty short so I figured it was a good start. Now, I am not a neat writer, often my handwriting is atrocious. But I took my time, slowly penning each letter. It was a transforming way to go through the book. There was no skimming over words and no stopping to study or analyze a phrase. Just one letter, one word at a time, carefully and intently. The words truly just seeping in as I wrote.

In 1896 - 98 Solomon Shechter and Charles Taylor had the contents of the Cairo Genizah shipped to Cambridge to research. That's what is in this picture. When these early scribes made an error or typo in their printing they didn't drop the paper in the recycle bin, or put it in the shredder. They considered these writings to be sacred, therefore they had to be disposed of in an honorable way... which of course takes time. So, like I often do, they procrastined and put these mess-ups in a special room called a genizah. Eventually someone decided they didn't have time to deal with all this paperwork and they just sealed up the room. Centuries later along comes Schechter and Taylor discovering a treasure trove of history.

The exhibit itself was full of these little pieces of paper, written by men who were just a few generations away from Christ himself. But all these scrapes of paper in this picture... are mistakes. Around the next corner of the exhibit were finished books. Gold embossed, beautifully illustrated, perfectly printed and bound. Amazing. Inspiring. Gorgeous works. But the truth is, these scribes who created these awesome works, made a lot of mistakes in the process. (and thank heavens they didn't have a shredder!) I think that's good to know. For me at least. I certainly make a lot of mistakes in the process. Not every word printed will be perfect, not every drawing drawn, not every weaving woven, not every painting painted, not every project planned... I just need to keep going and learn in the process. Who knows, maybe someday, even my scrapes will inspire someone. As long as I don't shred it all in a fit of organization!

mulling things over

I'm in the process of redefining myself... =0) Meanwhile, I found this quote on another blog that I thought was interesting....

"Our bodies are garbage heaps: we collect experience, and from the decomposition of the thrown-out eggshells, spinach leaves, coffee grinds, and old steak bones out of our minds, come nitrogen, heat, and very fertile soil. Out of this fertile soil bloom our poems and stories. But this does not come all at once. It takes time. Continue to turn over and over the organic details of your life until some of them fall through the garbage of discursive thoughts to the solid ground of black soil." Natalie Goldberg

I guess I'm still tilling.

God is in the details... and in the big picture

I love a beautiful view. I think most people do. I find when I’m hiking and I meet other hikers coming from the other direction they are always quick to mention if there is a great view ahead. I have so many pictures of Lydia and me standing on a ledge or a clearing looking out over valleys, lakes, rivers, more mountains rolling off in the distance…. Beautiful, breathtaking views.

So I was intrigued recently with a picture. We were hiking at a park not far from home with our friend Heather. This time we were hiking specifically to look at wildflowers and identify them. We started off slow, real slow. There were so many flowers! We’re walking along, looking down so as not to miss any. Lydia had her new wildflower book and was searching for names as we came upon new flowers. I was snapping pictures as we found them. It was really fun.

I happened to glance up and noticed… wow! What a beautiful view. I looked back at Lydia and Heather, intent upon finding the name to a new flower, and called them to look up. The whole situation struck me as so profound, I told them to just keep working and I snapped a picture of it.

It’s my life! I know God has the big picture. I know he has the future covered, it’s in good… no great hands. He knows the plan and where I’m going. What I can’t figure out is… where am I now? What am I supposed to be doing right now? It’s those details. Lydia has graduated, so I’m out of a job after 14 years of homeschooling. I haven’t really found my place in my community or church. I feel like I have so much to offer, I just don’t know what God wants me to do with it. I keep looking at the details, studying it… but so far, I haven’t figured out much.

Meanwhile, God still has that big picture under control. It’s there, I can look up and see it at anytime. So I just keep reading the book, looking for the details.