one month

I started posting daily on the Sunday after Thanksgiving and managed to keep it going until the Sunday after Christmas. 

Now it's time to decide what I want to do next. 

I'll get back to you.

The day after...

Really?  Has it just been one day since Christmas?  I hate that anticlimactic feeling of the day after.  It's the same with any big event, activity, project... holiday.  I look forward to them so much, even with the pressure and stress, I love the excitement of something fun that is coming.  

Then it's over. 

All that's left is to clean up.  I read this morning on someone status that their neighbor had already put the Christmas tree out on the curb for pick up.  I can understand that, especially for someone who decorated early in November.  I'd be really sick of the decoration clutter by now.  Since we aren't planning to have a New Years gathering I'll begin slowly putting things away over the next week.  It's time to move on.

Christmas Day

I grew up with the tradition of reading the Christmas story from Luke 2, then a feeding frenzy of opening presents.  Greg and I kept the story tradition but decided to pass on the frenzy part.  It is hard when you're getting all this stuff to keep remembering what is being celebrated.

When the kids were little we decided to limit the Christmas presents to three...  because 'Jesus got three presents'.  For several years we kept the presents specific, one toy, one artistic/musical and one educational.  That has somewhat slipped away as they've gotten older, but we still try to stick with just three gifts.  And there is no frenzy!  One gift at a time and watching each other unwrap.

I do miss the joy of having children open presents.  Truth is, now we have so much, nothing is really a surprise anymore.  Not that I'm not grateful and very happy with the paraffin wax bath my family gave me...  VERY thrilled.  But there is a special joy of sharing that time with a child.  It almost works with golden retrievers.  They are thrilled to be allowed to rip up wrapping paper and find a new toy inside.  And the toy lasts just about as long as a toy given to a small child.  =0)  Christmas with grown children is a new and different season of life.

We also don't do the big Christmas dinner thing.  I feel like I've been eating since Thanksgiving!  Instead I make a good breakfast after gifts are exchanged and we spend the day chilling out playing with our new toys and making phone calls to grandparents.  Then for dinner a simple pasta meal.  A quiet, peaceful day.  Not every year works out this way, but this one was nice.

We do have another tradition for the holiday season.  A few years ago the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies began coming out in theaters during Christmas and we were always the first in line.  After the third one finished we felt lost... what do we do now?  We began watching the DVDs a little at a time during the week between Christmas and New Years.  One disc at a time... the Director's Cut.  Takes about the whole week to fit it all in.  This evening we started with the first disc.  Great movie, great story, great cast... though my favorite is still Legolas. 

Now Christmas has come and gone, but the celebrating continues for another week.  Greg will only work for a couple days this week because of New Years.  I'm going to continue posting daily until New Years day.  Might as well, I'm on a roll!

Christmas Eve

Almost forgot to post!

Great, quiet and peaceful day.

This evening we went to the zoo to see Zoolights.

Saw it last year and decided it was a good tradition to continue.

I'll write more tomorrow, but it's late, so for now....

Merry Christmas!

Finally!

I started this blog off in January with the statement that this year I would be turning 50 years old. Today was the day. Finally, made it to the top of the hill. I started to say it was a long hike, but the truth is it really didn't seem that long. I guess as they say, when you're having fun...

I've never really dreaded birthdays. I've heard people talk about how they had a hard time with turning a certain age. Seems like to me it's better to get older than not... really! Fifty does seem pretty old though when you say it as a number like that. It is half a century!

I've had several friends who I truly respect and admire go 'over the hill' ahead of me. They've scouted it out and tell me it's okay. Some of the best conversations I have are with those ladies. There is something about living a little life that gives the freedom to be transparent and real with others. I just crave the opportunities to share life with friends in that way.

There are also those on the journey ahead of me that have shown me that age does not limit accomplishments. When Lydia and I hiked the Appalachian Trail last year we walked with our friend Soaring (trail name) who at the time was 58. She is the strongest, fastest hiker I have ever walked with. This year she went back alone and completed the sections we missed. Age makes no difference.

So tomorrow I begin the second half of my life here on earth. There are so many opportunities I haven't gotten around to yet, so many places I still need to see, friends to be made, so many mountains to climb... Now, what to do first...

That's My King

One day last week I decided I wanted to post something on my facebook status that had a little more meaning than my usual posts.  What came to mind was a recording I had heard some time ago.  It took some searching but I finally located the text and several Youtube videos of "That's My King" by S. M. Lockeridge.  As I read through it I couldn't decide which section to post, it was all so amazing.  I decided to do the whole thing, one section at a time.  I finished up the end of it today and posted the video.  I thought I'd share it here as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iE2jZV43dl0

The late Dr. S.M. Lockeridge, a preacher from San Diego, California who said these words in a sermon in Detroit in 1976

My King was born King. The Bible says He's a Seven Way King. He's the King of the Jews - that's an Ethnic King. He's the King of Israel - that's a National King. He's the King of righteousness. He's the King of the ages. He's the King of Heaven. He's the King of glory. He's the King of kings and He is the Lord of lords. Now that's my King.

Well, I wonder if you know Him. Do you know Him? Don't try to mislead me. Do you know my King? David said the Heavens declare the glory of God, and the firmament shows His handiwork. My King is the only one of whom there are no means of measure that can define His limitless love. No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of the shore of His supplies. No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing. He's enduringly strong. He's entirely sincere. He's eternally steadfast. He's immortally graceful. He's imperially powerful. He's impartially merciful. That's my King.

He's God's Son. He's the sinner's saviour. He's the centrepiece of civilization. He stands alone in Himself. He's honest. He's unique. He's unparalleled. He's unprecedented. He's supreme. He's pre-eminent. He's the grandest idea in literature. He's the highest personality in philosophy. He's the supreme problem in higher criticism. He's the fundamental doctrine of historic theology. He's the carnal necessity of spiritual religion. That's my King.

He's the miracle of the age. He's the superlative of everything good that you choose to call Him. He's the only one able to supply all our needs simultaneously. He supplies strength for the weak. He's available for the tempted and the tried. He sympathizes and He saves. He's the Almighty God who guides and keeps all his people. He heals the sick. He cleanses the lepers. He forgives sinners. He discharged debtors. He delivers the captives. He defends the feeble. He blesses the young. He serves the unfortunate. He regards the aged. He rewards the diligent and He beautifies the meek. That's my King.

Do you know Him? Well, my King is a King of knowledge. He's the wellspring of wisdom. He's the doorway of deliverance. He's the pathway of peace. He's the roadway of righteousness. He's the highway of holiness. He's the gateway of glory. He's the master of the mighty. He's the captain of the conquerors. He's the head of the heroes. He's the leader of the legislatures. He's the overseer of the overcomers. He's the governor of governors. He's the prince of princes. He's the King of kings and He's the Lord of lords. That's my King.

His office is manifold. His promise is sure. His light is matchless. His goodness is limitless. His mercy is everlasting. His love never changes. His Word is enough. His grace is sufficient. His reign is righteous. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I wish I could describe Him to you . . .but He's indescribable. He's indescribable. That's my King.

He's incomprehensible. He's invincible. He's irresistible. I'm coming to tell you this, that the heavens of heavens can't contain Him, let alone some man explain Him. You can't get Him out of your mind. You can't get Him off of your hands. You can't outlive Him and you can't live without Him. The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found out they couldn't stop Him. Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him. The witnesses couldn't get their testimonies to agree about Him. Herod couldn't kill Him. Death couldn't handle Him and the grave couldn't hold Him. That's my King.

He always has been and He always will be. I'm talking about the fact that He had no predecessor and He'll have no successor. There's nobody before Him and there'll be nobody after Him. You can't impeach Him and He's not going to resign. That's my King! That's my King!

Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory. Well, all the power belongs to my King. We're around here talking about black power and white power and green power, but in the end all that matters is God's power. Thine is the power. Yeah. And the glory. We try to get prestige and honour and glory for ourselves, but the glory is all His. Yes. Thine is the Kingdom and the power and glory, forever and ever and ever and ever. How long is that? And ever and ever and ever and ever. And when you get through with all of the 'ever's, then . . .Amen.

More snowboarding and Christmas movies... sort of

I tried something new today. 

We drove to Breckenridge to check out their green slopes. 

Wow it was so crowded ...and confusing  ...and exhausting. 

Maybe I need to try it again after the holidays when it's not so busy. 

I felt pretty good about how I did on the one slope I made it all the way down. 

Connecting my turns pretty well. 

Now if I could just get over my fear of those lifts.

Highlight of the day was coming home, ordering a pizza and crashing. 
We don't order pizza often, but it's a Godsend after a day like this. 

With pizza and soda in hand and fireplace burning we all decided on a Christmas movie. 

But how to pick a movie for everyone... including the guys. 

This time the guys got their pick, the all time classic Christmas movie,

Die Hard. 

Wow, I forgot how bloody that was! 

Next movie I pick.

Quiet day

It's been a peaceful day for a holiday weekend.  Maybe because it's not REALLY a holiday weekend yet.  It's strange having Christmas on a Friday.  Our church doesn't have a Christmas Eve service which means that this morning was the Christmas service.  Somehow it really didn't feel right, it was just too early, Christmas is days away.

Both kids had their own things going on so Greg and I went out for lunch after the service.  It occurred to me that this might be a foreshadowing of our Sundays in the future.  After lunch we went home, picked up the dogs and headed over to Red Rocks.  It's a real challenge to walk the steps at Red Rocks with the dogs.  They just don't understand going back and forth over and over.  If we separate them it's really hard because they pull to be together.  So today we walked and ran side by side on the steps.  It took a few rows but they finally got the hang of it and we had a good workout.

The rest of the afternoon was quiet.  Caleb came home and watched some TV.  We have a whole new selection of shows playing now that Caleb is home.  I don't know where he got his weird sense of humor!  When Lydia got home the three of them, Greg, Caleb and Lydia all headed out together to see a movie.  I passed.  Sometimes I just like to be alone for awhile... make the introvert in me happy.

So nothing big happening today, which is pretty nice for a Sunday.  

Parades and Parties

This morning we went to the Christmas parade in downtown Golden.  I love this parade.  They do it three Saturdays in a row in December, which means you have a chance to pick which weekend to go, but every time I've gone the town has been full... but not too full.  It's just a nice old fashion small town parade.  I will say though, if I had small kids I would have a hard time explaining why there was more than one Santa in the parade.  I'm not sure what that was about, you would think only one Santa per parade would be allowed.  Nonetheless it was a lovely parade.

We took the dogs along with us.  It's the Colorado thing to do.  Also, it's good for MacGyver.  He would just as soon stay holed up in the house and not be around people.  So every now and then we like to take him out in crowds to let him see it's okay.  He did great.  After the parade we crabbed sandwiches at D'Deli and ate on a picnic table on the bridge over Clear Creek.  Right now it's completely frozen over and very cool looking.

This evening Greg and I headed out to one last Christmas party.  I didn't know a single person there, but still had some great conversations.  I wonder why this is... in groups like this evening I can walk in not knowing anyone and have conversations with several people and walk out feeling like I've made some friends.  But...  I have this one particular group of people that I get together with once a month, every month for a year now and each month I walk away feeling like I haven't connected with anyone.  Why is that?  If I could nail down what the difference is... I would do something to change it.  ...I have no conclusions yet, just a thought.

snowboarding

Today we continued a tradition that Greg would love to be a big part of our holiday activities... a day on the slopes.  Greg and both kids are amazing snowboarders.  They've been at it for years.  I began learning last season.  I'm not exactly a natural, but I'm getting a little better all the time.  Today was the second time we've been on the slopes this season and I'm thrilled that I can remember the basics...  standing up, not falling and I can even still remember how to connect my turns.  Hopefully before the season is over I'll feel comfortable calling myself a snowboarder, but not yet.

This evening our friend Rich came over to spend some time playing guitar.  It's been awhile since Greg and the kids jammed together and I really miss it.  Tonight Greg, Caleb and Rich played guitar while Lydia broke out her fiddle and Uke.  It was nice.  And frankly, after a day of snowboarding, it just about lulled me to sleep.  I'm beat.

A Creative Day

Well, creativity was my goal today anyway.  We have an unfinished room in the basement that a few months ago I claimed as my studio.  My dream was to set the room up as a classroom to teach art classes.  Not long after that Caleb took two of the tables I planned to use, cleared them off of the art supplies and set himself up a place to wax his snowboards.  Hmmm....  I held my tongue since I hadn't made a clear plan for the art lessons yet.  Then, next thing I knew he claimed a third table.  That's when I drew the line, sort of.  I insisted he clear off the third table anyway. 

This morning I took him downstairs and worked out a compromise.  I gave him a better table but moved his operations into the furnace room, behind closed doors.  THEN I started to work on setting up the room.  In the end I didn't get too far.  It needs a lot of work to be an inviting and creative space.  Probably some serious paint on the walls, and maybe the floor too.  I did begin a painting.  I haven't painted with anything but watercolor for a long time.  All I had to work with was acrylic, but it felt good.  I do miss oils. 

The last time I painted with oils was several years ago in Maryland for Easter.  I got together with three other ladies who are artists in the church and we each did a separate piece to be place in the four corners of the church on Easter Sunday.  Alison did a drawing of the crown of thorns, Christy did an oil (I believe) of Christ's feet on the cross, Stella did a collage of one hand and I did the other in oil, both on the cross.  They turned out great and looked amazing walking into the service that morning... if I do say so myself. 

But so far I'm just playing with the paint and colors on this piece.  We'll see where it goes.  It was just fun to start creating again.  I also did a little ink drawing.  Not near as much time as I should have spent, but it was something.

As for Christmas, Lydia and I watched "Christmas in Connecticut".  Trying to get out of one predicament by lying about being married, having a baby, being able to cook and living in the country and then getting caught... and it's a comedy with a happy ending.  Gotta love those old movies.  They're such high fantasy.  ;-) 

What I learned this year

I decided to start making a list of things I've learned this year.  Here's what I've got so far...

Things I Learned This Year

How to do a Tim Tam slam, thanks to Two Guys Around the World and Target for selling Tim Tams.

I want to grow old like my Grandmother,

but I already knew that, it was just reinforced with her 90th birthday.

How to love a frightened rescue dog through his fears.

How to tweet...even from my phone!

That it's okay for people to cry at my funeral. 

Grieving is necessary for the living and it's not about me - I won't be there!

How to snowboard!

Paramount Theater is a beautiful, if not comfortable place to watch the Banff Film Festival.

How to get to the top of South Table Mountain to the old dance hall.

How to make it to the top of a 14er.

That Colorado has incredibly beautiful wildflowers and how to identify some of them.

Being a Trail Angel is as much fun as receiving Trail Magic.

It's tough when your parents get older, but admittedly it would be tougher if they didn't.

I can be right at the wrong time.

Waiting on God, a recurring lesson that I think I might be getting better at with age.

It's fun to watch my children grow and step out on their own.

The San Juan Mountains might be my favorite... at least this year.

Focusing on the Who

I remember some time ago learning a lesson about focus... the hard way.  Both kids were still in high school and running on the homeschool cross country team.  Greg was usually their coach but he was going to be out of town the week before a big meet.  He left me with detailed instructions which, to be honest, I didn't plan to follow through on since running's just not my thing.

However, as the meet approached my conscious got the best of me and I decided to work with the kids on running.  Greg had suggested that I ride a bike along with them on a trail and proposed two trails for training.  When we finally got the bike loaded in the car and everyone dressed and ready to run it was getting close to dusk.  We decided to go with the closer option... and the one Caleb and Lydia assured me had no hills.  Seeing as how I hadn't been on a bike in a long time the elevation gain and loss of the trail was very important to me.  We headed to the Base to ride the trail around the golf course.

After pulling into the parking lot the kids got out of the car and immediately began their warm up and stretching routine.  I pulled out the bike (okay, not quite that simply, but I did finally get it out) and put on my helmet.  When Caleb pointed out that I had the helmet on backward I laughed and acted like I did that on purpose.  I had no clue.  He took off running pretty quickly after that, I believe afraid that someone would see him with me.

With the kids off and running I hopped on the bike and took off, just a little wobbly at first.  Immediately, and I mean IMMEDIATELY the trail headed UP hill.  What?!  I thought this was a flat trail.  I could see Caleb just going around a curve at the top of the mountain, I mean hill, and yelled "I thought this was a flat trail?!"  Over his shoulder he yelled back "It's flatter than the other trail!"  and disappeared not to be seen again until we were back at the car.  "Seriously!?"  I began to suspect my children were Liars.

One hill was followed by another hill.  Trying to recall how to ride a bike while going up and down hills and thinking up good punishments at the same time is some feat.  But then I discovered the problem of focus.  Leveling off at the top of the first hill was a log just on the right side of the trail.  In my effort to concentrate on not hitting it I found I couldn't take my eyes off of it.  And even though my mind was saying "don't go that way!"  My body went straight for the log!  Luckily I was going slow enough not to go head over heels.  Next was a groundhog on the side of the trail.  ...straight for him!  He ran fast.  Soon I a met a runner coming from the other direction.  By this time I had learned my lesson and I stopped, smiled and said a friendly hello as if I was taking a break, not concerned that I might run him over.

My lesson from that day, besides my kids lie...  Whatever I focus my eyes on, I go toward.  And not just on a bike, it's true about, well, everything.  I've been very distracted this week and I've known it was happening, I just let my focus stray.  I've been so busy with the Christmas 'stuff', the parties, food, shopping, cards...  not bad stuff, but it draws my attention away from the direction I really want to be going.  I love all the activities and traditions that go with this time of year.  Even those things that are meant to keep my attention on the true meaning of Christmas can become busy work distracting my attention from the Who Christmas is about.

Now to refocus my sights back on the Who of CHRISTmas.

sleeping in and catching up

I can't say how blessed I feel when I get to sleep in on a Monday morning after a hectic weekend.  I would have slept later if I didn't have a pushy Golden Retriever jump on me in bed this morning.  Then a quiet day of catching up on my Bible Study that I got behind on over the past few days.  Sitting by the fireplace, sipping tea and reading.  Then an evening spent with a group of ladies at The Well, our churches woman's ministry.  

Yep, blessed.

  Tomorrow I'll have to get back on that To Do list and get some things accomplished, but this was a good day. 

Sweaters and Pictures

Third Sunday of Advent and I'm still on schedule.  How weird is that!

Tonight was our last Christmas Party for the weekend.  The third annual Sweaterfest at church.  The idea is to wear your ugliest Christmas sweater, tho some folks take the definition of sweater pretty far.  It was a good time.  A few from our Life Group got together at a table and it was nice to spend time visiting.  We all braved the dance floor and the electric slide together... that was fun since none of us knew the steps when we started.  If your going to look silly on the dance floor it's always more fun with a group!
One of our own, Gale, was in the final three of the competition for best worst sweater.
We cheered for her as hard as we could!

This afternoon we finally made an acceptable family picture for the Christmas letter.  We've done this for so many years I'm running out of creative ideas.  Last year our friends the Breen-Franklins had their picture taken with individual creamer cups stuck in their eyes.... so that idea has been taken!  But we did get it done, copies made and stuck in the cards.  Tomorrow they will be mailed.  Hopefully soon we will start getting some from friends.  I LOVE getting Christmas cards... but I think I've said that already.

Christmas ornaments

Last night at the Life Group party we did another White Elephant exchange.  This time of year these types of gift exchanges can get so old, expensive and really hard to figure out what to bring.  But for this exchange we stole an idea from our friends back in Maryland.  While living there for several years our church leadership would have a Christmas party with a White Elephant ornament exchange.  It got to be quite an event over the years.  The more we did it the more interesting and sometimes even crazy the ornaments became.  Everyone looked forward to it.   Last night we introduced our Life Group to the idea.  At first the game started off with only presents being opened, then someone broke the ice and started stealing.  Some very funny ornaments popped up and the game began to warm up.  It was fun, but I think next year, as we get to know each other better that the game will get a little more heated... and fun.  

I love our time decorating the tree.  Well, after the lights are on.  Lights are just frustrating.  But then... come the ornaments.  Every Christmas it's like opening a box of memories.  We have one giant plastic storage box just with ornaments for the tree, each one carefully wrapped and packed away after the last holiday season.  I pull off the lid and begin taking out the treasures.  There are so many I like to lay them out on the coffee table before arranging on the tree.  About half of them aren't even mine.  Greg's Aunt Nell started giving the kids a special Hallmark year ornament when they were born.  So they each have a 1st to 5th year childhood ornament.  Then, my parents began several years ago giving each of their grandkids an ornament for Christmas.  Caleb and Lydia have several from them, including a beautiful one from Mom's mission trip to Russia.

By the time I have sorted out all the kids ornaments, we're about half way through the box.  But I have several special pieces as well.  There are all the ones from the exchange in Maryland, gifts from friends, a few reminding of us pets we've had and we saved one of each of the angel ornaments the kids and I made for several years.  Some remind me a special people.  I have a white yarn angel a friend in Hawaii gave me.  I lost contact with her and haven't seen her in years, but every time I look at that angel I'm reminded of her smile.  I have a little clay figure of Castro that the chaplain's wives made at Guantanamo Bay back in 1987 encouraging us to pray for the Cuban people.  (who would have thought this many years later Castro would still be around!)  And I have a couple ornaments from homeschool friends who were such an encouragement to me. 

I've seen stunningly decorated Christmas trees with matching ornaments, bows, ribbons and lights.  Last year I watched a video of a very creative method for decorating a tree that I thought was fascinating.  But I don't know, it just wouldn't be the same.  I could do something artsy and creative but it just wouldn't have the same feeling that I get when I look at my tree.  You can have the glitter and glitz, I'll keep my memories.

Party Day!

I should have written earlier in the day because now I'm just tired, but I made the committment and I'm sticking to it.  ....oh, wait, I had no time earlier in the day, so I'll do what I can.

It was a great day.  Got up early and put together a few final touches getting ready for the party this evening.  Then I headed across town to meet Greg for his work party.  Last year the party was held at a nice restaurant but the set up was terrible for a party, cramped together, but still mixed in with other lunch guests.  This time we met at Joe's Crab Shack and had most of the place to ourselves.  There were over a hundred people there, so we pretty much packed it out.

I spent the meal visiting with a work associate of Greg's who is visiting from Brittan.  Very nice lady and it's always fun to chat with someone speaking with a British accent, makes me miss my friend Stella.  =0)  They had the usual white elephant exchange and I came away with the Cadbury chocolates... thanks to the Brits. 

After the party we rushed home to put the final touches on our Life Group party.  We've had the Life Group going for almost a year now.  For the first nine months it was just us and a couple other people.  We had fun together but really hoped it would grow.  In the last couple of months we've finally began to add numbers and most importantly we are gradually building relationships.  We're finally beginning to talk of ideas of getting together outside of our scheduled Life Group times.  It's very exciting, I see a potential for some great things coming.  Tonight we had a Christmas Party, tons of food, exchanged Christmas ornaments, sang some carols and shared our favorite Christmas traditions.  Building relationships... this is good. 

It's late.  In the morning I'll reread this and it probably won't make sense and I'll have to edit the whole thing, but for now I'm done and heading to bed. 

Date Night

I spent today getting ready for tomorrow.  The upcoming weekend is full of Christmas parties beginning at lunch tomorrow, so I thought getting my ducks in a row (what a weird saying!) today was a good idea.  Two parties involved White Elephant gifts which need to be purchased and wrapped.  The other involves a ugly sweater, which I just don't have.  But I think I ended the day just about ready.

This evening Greg and I went out for dinner.  We wanted to clear out of the house for awhile to give Caleb some time with friends he had invited over.  We finished up one last Christmas gift and had dinner at Macaroni Grill.  When we came in Caleb was in the kitchen with his friends cooking.  I was soooo  glad to see that.  I thought when we moved into this house what a great place it would be for our kids to spend time with friends.  Last year though Caleb never brought friends home from college.  Hopefully tonight will just be a start. 

So this isn't a very exciting post, but at least I'm ready for the upcoming busy weekend. 

This is completely random and has nothing to do with Christmas, but my nephew posted this link on his twitter account and I thought it was great....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErMWX--UJZ4&feature=player_embedded

The Christmas Letter

I don't remember when I first started sending out a yearly family letter with our Christmas cards, but it had to have been before 1997 because I have kept a copy filed away since then.  It's a strange thing looking through this file.  Letter by letter I can review what we have been doing for the past twelve years, it makes the years fly by in condensed form.  Just a little bit scary that life passes that quickly.  At the same time it brings back some incredible memories of friends and family, places, adventures lived, lessons learned, all treasured.  Today I finished this year's letter.  I used my calendar to review the year and decide what to write.  Some things were so much fun I wished they wouldn't end, but those times just seem to slip through my fingers.  And then there were some very sad and painful times I'd just as soon let slip away.  In the end we learn from those moments too, hopefully.  All in all, 2009 was a good year.

Working my way out of a fog

My eyes popped open suddenly.  

Whoa, what happened?  

It's such an unsettling feeling to fall asleep unexpectedly.  I didn't even realize I was tired.  

I was doing something...  I can't remember what... sitting in my comfy chair next to the fireplace.  

Next thing I know Caleb is standing over me with his phone in hand saying Lydia needs a ride home from school.  

Now an hour later I'm still trying to shake that foggy disoriented feeling.  

We celebrated our countdown to Christmas today with temperatures in the single digits again and an insignificant amount of additional snow.  Tomorrow we plan a heat wave of 21 degrees and a reprieve in the snow accumulation for a few days.  This is a good thing because I've had two active golden retrievers inside for forty eight hours and they might explode soon without some serious outdoor run time.  This just isn't natural... so they tell me.  

I'm also counting down my drop over the other side of the hill, mountain, whatever.  We're at 15 days and counting until my 50th birthday.  FIFTY!  How did that happen!?  I'm pretty sure I lost ten years somewhere.  Maybe it was in that sleepy fog.  

It's time to start to planning Christmas parties.  Our church small group, we call a Life Group, will be having a party this Friday.  I've begun pulling out our party supplies.  Last year we hosted Greg's work party and I stored away leftover paper supplies and have plenty for this year.  Yay!  No shopping.  Now to plan a simple, but good menu.  I love that part!  I'm hoping this party will be a great way to start making bonds in this new group.  

The other holiday gathering we have is a group from Greg's work.  It's the large 'sort of' office party.  They have a White Elephant exchange that is supposed to be a food or drink theme, but really is about the alcohol.  I'm going to be a rebel this year and take food.  Sometimes you've got to be wild and crazy.  

Then we'll top the weekend off with Sweaterfest at church.  Two years ago Greg had just been through the appendix episode and though we went, we didn't last long.  Last year we had tickets but the morning of the party we got a call from the Golden Retriever Rescue to come and meet a potential adoptee.   MacGyver came to live with us that afternoon.  We didn't feel comfortable taking off for a party with a brand new rescue dog in the house, not good for him or the house.  So we missed Sweaterfest.  I think this year we'll make it. 

Surprising myself with our faithfulness with the Jesse Tree, still getting it done each evening.  Amazing. 

A Cup of Christmas Cheer

The thermometer didn't break out of the single digits today.  Brrrr...  I spent the day huddled in front of the fireplace reading and sketching.  Days like this of course call for something warm to drink.  Before sinking into my cozy chair by the fire I turned on the stove under the tea kettle.  When the whistle began to blow I headed to the kitchen and started to reach for my usual cup, but then I remembered the one Christmas favorite I have yet to unpack.  Above the stove in the rarely opened cabinet are all of my Christmas plates, bowls, platters AND the favorite Christmas cups.

 I have several treasured cups all with wonderful memories.   A couple of them I received from friends as gifts and when I use them I think of those relationships and how special those friendships are to me.   I still have two cups from Greg's and my first Christmas together and a few just fun ones we have picked up along the way. 

Today I drank tea but may favorite thing, no surprise, to drink from a Christmas cup is hot chocolate.  A few years ago after watching the movie Chocolat with a group of girlfriends, I went on a mission to find a great hot chocolate recipe.  I did find a very good one though I adjust it a little each year.  The secret is to use a good quality dark chocolate and real whipped cream for the dollop on top.  To finish it off, sprinkle on a small amount of chili pepper, just like in the movie.  I prefer ancho.  In a pinch, Godiva makes an excellent instant dark chocolate mix.  And if it's for an evening dessert chocolate just a dash of peppermint schnapps is a nice touch.  Another snow storm is on its way into our area tonight.  I expect tomorrow I'll be putting those cups to good use.  

Second Sunday of Advent... and Christmas movies

We lit the second candle tonight at dinner, read about the prophecy of Bethlehem and hung the next ornament on the Jesse Tree.  I'm not sure when I was last this consistent with Advent celebrations.  A sign of how quiet my life is right now.  We have almost all of the Christmas presents wrapped and hidden away.  Wow, it feels great to say that this early in the month!

This afternoon as it snowed away outside we sat by the fire in the basement and watched Christmas movies.  Greg got first pick and as usual picked Scrooged.  I think it's just enough not like a Christmas movie to make him happy... and then Carol Kane is just a riot as the Angel of Christmas present.  I have to say though if I picked a Christmas Carol telling I would go with the Muppets.  Gonzo and Rizzo do an excellent job of telling the tale.  For classics Lydia and I both go straight to White Christmas, we still have that one yet to watch this year.  A few days ago on a quiet afternoon we watched While You Were Sleeping and Home Alone 3 (my favorite of the series).  Today after Scrooged we chose The Christmas Story, always a funny choice with so many classic lines.  Still have Gremlins to watch, and of course for Greg the great classic Christmas movie, Die Hard. 

Most of our movies unfortunately are on VHS.  Each year we make a slow move to DVD, but I'm afraid the old VCR isn't going to last much longer.  I'm sure we'll get all our favorites on DVD just as the next big thing comes along.  *sigh*   I suspect there will be plenty of Christmas movie time this week since it's supposed to keep snowing for a couple days.  Hopefully the VCR will hold out!

and of course shopping

I struggle with Christmas shopping.  Who doesn't?!  Well, actually Greg doesn't.  He loves to shop and it really causes a stress between us this time of year.  I would love for Christmas to be a simple affair, homemade or inexpensive gifts with meaning... without the sticker shock.  When the kids were little we managed that.  Mostly because Greg was so often deployed during the Christmas season and I did the shopping... or creating.  Now he's all about watching 'Steep and Cheap' and 'Brocity' for the best deals and coolest gear.  He's so excited about the treasures he finds.  Some would say his love language is definitely gift giving, so I give him the space to enjoy himself. 

Early in our marriage I made almost everything we gave.  I have books, files and note cards filled with ideas for making food gifts, caramel corn, ice cream syrups, hot chocolate mix.  For several years I would start early in the year and begin a crock of compote that I would pour into decorative canisters and give away as gifts.  In June I would put in strawberries fresh from the fields, then blueberries, raspberries, peaches, cherries, each as they came into season.  Along with the fruits would go a cup of sugar and a cup of vodka, stir and let it ferment.  The large crock sat on my kitchen counter throughout the growing season.  By the fall it was ready to seal up and at Christmas ready to be spooned over ice cream, waffles or pound cake.  Yum!  I completely forgot about it this year.  My summer was a little nutty. 

Then of course there were are projects.  I've done some weaving, but not as much as I should.  Also for years the kids and I would make angel ornaments.  We'd find a pattern each year for a different angel.  One year was sculpty clay, another from a terracotta pot, another of ribbon and another of felt, always something different.  When we went to visit friends and family throughout the holiday season we would take an angle to share.  That was incredibly fun, but as the kids got older they lost interest and we moved on to other things. 

I also taught many Christmas crafts to children over the years, both to homeschool kids and while working in Children's ministries at church.  I've got a trunk full of patterns and materials, just can't seem to get rid of that kind of thing.  Never can tell when the opportunity may arise again to make a manger ornament out of a walnut shell. 

But today that's not the plan.  I'm heading out to...  that secret place, where I'm going to buy that secret thing... and hope that Greg likes it.  And I hope the stores aren't too crazy.  To make up for shopping I am also going with Lydia to watch her dance teacher's performance.  Not really sure what I'm getting in to, but it sounded like a fun night out with Lydia. 

So another tradition continues...

A new tradition

For the past two Christmases I have wanted to attend the Golden Candlelight walk, but just haven't been able to make it.  Tonight we did it!  We met some friends in a massive crowd near the Foothills Art Center and walked from one end of Golden to the other carrying candles and singing Christmas carols.  It was a little crazy with so many people, but much fun.  At the end we gathered around and watched a wreath being 'dropped', something like the ball in Times Square at New Years.  At the end of the countdown all the Christmas lights along Clear Creek came on.  It was beautiful!  Definitely a tradition worth keeping.  Next time with warmer socks!

Afterward we went to a friends house for some chili and good conversation.  I spent some time talking with her 5th grade daughter about her drawing.  Very fun.

And tonight's Jesse Tree ornament was the Tower of Babel.  ....still going.

I blame it on the altitude

My cookies were a bust.  I never fail at cookies!  I could almost say I'm a cookie expert.  Being an only girl with three brothers raised in the south, of course I know how to cook and bake and I'm good at it.  ...if I do say so myself.  I have three favorite Christmas cookies and I picked one to start with today.  I mixed up the dough for Spritz cookies, got out all the decorations and the cookie press.  For some reason the texture of the dough was all wrong, it wouldn't go through the press right.  So I tried adding a little milk for moisture and of course that ruined it completely.  Then I tried to use the dough to make candy cane cookies and that didn't work either. I'm not sure how the altitude could effect cookie dough, but that's my excuse and I'm sticking with it.  I'm not giving up, I'll try it again next week sometime.

I came home from a meeting tonight to find a group of Caleb's friends in the garage rock climbing.  It's 2 degrees out there!  But, it is very nice that Caleb is bringing home friends.  Hope they know they can come in out of the cold.

And we're still keeping up the the Jesse Tree.  Three days in and still going strong!

hmmmm.....

Okay, no great Christmas stuff for today.  Well, it did snow, way more than it was supposed to.  So I spent some time shoveling, not exactly a Christmas tradition tho. 

We did put on the 2nd ornament on the Jesse Tree... Adam and Eve leave Eden. 

Oh yeah, and I hung some snowflakes from the banister.  Tomorrow I think we'll make Christmas cookies. 

The Jesse Tree

In a random conversation with our pastor's wife when we lived in Florida I heard about the idea of a Jesse Tree.  I didn't get specific details, only that the tree had 25 ornaments leading from Creation to Christmas and the idea was to put an ornament on the tree beginning December 1st through 25th.  I thought it was a great idea, and always looking for a homeschool project, I immediately went to work making a plan.  I didn't find out until many years later that there are specific stories on the Jesse Tree... but we made up our own and are happy with it. 

I picked up some sculpty clay and with the kids picked out twenty three more Bible stories between Creation and Christmas.  The kids created the ornaments... very rough, clearly made by five and seven year olds.  Of course that makes them all the more precious to me.  I picked up a small artificial tree from Michaels and we were all set.  We began on December 1st, either read from the Bible, or told from memory the story that the ornament represented and hung it on the tree.  Day after day, story after story all the way 'til Christmas.

We've done that every year now for thirteen years.  I'll admit, some years we don't do it well.  Especially that year Greg was recovering, I think we put on five ornaments at a time, but we've stuck with it.  I'm determined this year to make it every day.

On another note, still working on those Christmas cards, almost addressed and stamped.  And the yearly letter is coming along.  Todays Christmas movie was Home Alone 3.  I don't know why I think that's so funny, but I'll admit I do.  Much funnier than the previous Home Alone movies.  I'm enjoying the quiet start to the holidays so far, hope we can keep it.

Christmas Cards

Yes, I am one of the last hold outs who actually sends real paper Christmas cards through the old mail system.  A few years ago our church started a drop box system.  You would write up your cards as usual but instead of mailing them you would put them in a file (A-Z) in the lobby at church.  Then you would check the box to see if any cards had been left for you.  It saved the cost of a stamp and you were asked to donate 25cents for each card you dropped in to go to missions.  Nice idea, but I bucked.  Christmas time is the only time of year anymore where I actually get mail in my mailbox that I really look forward to getting!  Many years ago I had a few friends who would take the time to write hand written letters through out the year, but those days are long gone.  I can't remember the last handwritten letter I received, but thankfully Christmas cards are still coming in.  They are getting more streamlined...  pre-cards with photos printed on them, but at least an effort is being made.

Today, as every year, I sat down with my list of addresses.  I keep a running list year to year of the cards I've sent and those I receive.  Seems every year I drop a few names off of my list.  There are some cards I send year after year, but the other person never sends one back, I can't help but wonder... do they care?  am I annoying them with this yearly card?  Eventually I'll make a call on whether to keep sending them, but I always feel guilty when I drop them...  they probably have no clue!

Next thing I'll do is write the yearly Christmas letter.  I try very hard to make it real.  Honestly... it's just me writing.... not Greg, not the kids.  Letters that I receive that are written in this weird third person voice really throw me.  Why not just say who is writing?  Greg rarely has a clue what has been written in our Christmas letter, and he's fine with that.  I also try not to spend too much time listing every accomplishment of my kids... do you really care?  If you do, you probably already know. Then there is the question, how much bad news? how much good news?  Some letters are all bubbly and life is great...  probably not very honest.  On the other hand this year some bad things happened in my life.  I'll be sending this letter out to some folks who may not want to be reminded of the sad times at Christmas.  There is a balance to be found.  

Then there is the picture.  That's the hard part.  We've tried over the years to make the picture unique and interesting.... but I'm running out of ideas.  AND time to get everyone together.  Hopefully I'll come up with something clever in the next week or so.  And THEN the Christmas Cards will be mailed... through the snail mail... with a stamp, which by the way gets more expensive each year...  And it will be worth it because someone I care about will get a real piece of mail with a real letter and a picture in their mail box.  That makes me happy. 

What also makes me happy is watching Christmas movies.  Fortunately for me Lydia also enjoys watching Christmas movies and she just put one in to watch...   so I'm checking out for now.  Hope you find the time for fun Christmas flicks too!

And we're off!

Over the past weekend I've begun getting ready for the holiday season.  I'm feeling real good about how 'in control' I am right now.  It's not always that way.  Two years ago coming home from Thanksgiving in Kentucky I got a call that Greg was being rushed to the hospital from his plane.  His appendix had ruptured in flight.  I don't remember much about that holiday season.  We were just thankful to survive it... seriously!  Last year Lydia and I were still in recovery mode after the AT hike and we once again made a cross country drive back to Kentucky for Thanksgiving.  We missed several Christmas events last year just because we weren't paying attention.  I'd like to work on that this year.

We didn't return to Kentucky for Thanksgiving.  It may be harder to do that now that we are in a season with both kids in college.  By not traveling this year we were home for the Thanksgiving weekend and able to begin decorating for Christmas.  For the first time in several years we got the Advent decorations up in time for the first Sunday of Advent.  Wow, I'm overwhelmed with the organization!  I thought I'd start posting daily through this Season and see how well I do at keeping my focus on the real meaning of Christmas.  And also to share some of our old traditions and new traditions we are just trying out.

Tonight Lydia and I went to see The Nutcracker.  She claims we saw it once several years ago, but I really don't remember.  If we did it was a local community production, nothing like the Colorado Ballet.  They did an excellent job, though I'm clearly not an expert.  We ran straight from church to downtown in order to get a parking spot and arrived in time to grab a quick lunch at the Performing Arts Center.  I guess it would have been a better outing if the guys had been along and we would have really taken our time and enjoyed ourselves, but we rushed it.  So I'm not seeing it becoming a new tradition.  Though I would like to get back down there and see more shows at the PAC... there's just too much to do in Colorado!

We did however sit down to dinner together this evening, lit the first advent candle and read Isaiah 11.  I decided to read this year from my great grandfather's bible, which of course means the King James Version.  We haven't done that in a long time!  Took awhile to figure out what it was saying.  Then we spent some time talking about our favorite holiday traditions.  Sadly enough it turned in to a list of favorite Christmastime movies.  Not that they were bad... The Muppet's Christmas Carol, White Christmas, A Christmas Story... and of course watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy between Christmas and New Years.  However, I seem to be the only sentimental one in my family... at least tonight.  Looks like I'm going to have to work at it to spark up some Christmas spirit this year.  Sounds like a challenge. 

Well Digging Project

Well Digging Project Fundraiser to Benefit Haiti

Location:
Jaz B Studio Art Gallery
719 W 8th Ave.
Denver, CO  80204

When:
Thursday, November 19, 2009
6:00 pm to 9:00 pm

Cost:
$30 per person or $55 for a couple

Contact:
Carolyn Eustic
ceustic@gmail.com

Please join us for an inspiring night out, including live music, light Hors devours, wine tastings, a fantastic silent auction, fun door prizes, wonderful art and more.  Mingle with artists and chat with friends while helping us to raise money for our well-digging project in Haiti.  100% of proceeds/donations from the event's ticket price and silent auction will go towards our goal of $18,000 to build a well for a school or hospital in Haiti. 

Since 1991, Living Water International has been an implementer of participatory, community-based water solutions in developing nations.  We have chosen to raise funds for Haiti because an estimated 3.8 million Haitians (46% of Haiti's population) do not have access to an improved water source, and 5.8 million do not have adequate sanitation.  LWI Haiti has successfully completed over 130 water projects in the country, to date.  Through the education of children, a nation's future can be changed from one of warfare to one of peace, stability and security.  For more information about LWI, please visit www.water.cc.

We hope you will join us for this great cause and exhilarating night out in Denver.

Silent Auction will be from 6pm - 8pm (pick up silent auction items at 8:30pm)
Door prizes every hour (must be present to win)

Parking: across from the gallery and off Fox & 8th

--
The Well
Women's Ministry at Red Rocks Church

http://redrockschurch.com/connect/womens-ministry/

We are raising funds to help repair and dig wells for other women in the world through Living Water International.  www.water.cc

Happy Birthday!

Today is the 234th birthday of the United States Marine Corps. Twenty-seven years ago I experienced my first Marine Corps birthday at Quantico, Virginia. I had no idea! They take this seriously. Marines are very proud of their heritage and I believe, rightly so. That first year the Marine Corps Birthday Ball we attended was in a hanger at the airfield at Quantico.

Over the years I've been to Balls held in fancy expensive hotels and more than one in old airfield hangers. While in Guantanamo Bay back in the 80s the young Marines turned an old hanger into a replica of Tunn Tavern, the birthplace of the Marines. I remember that year General Grey was the key note speaker. That was something special to experience. Hawaii was the first Ball that we invited civilian friends to join us for the Ball. I had gotten to where I took the occasion for granted. Seeing it through the eyes of someone who had never experienced was refreshing.

My favorite thing about a Marine Corps Ball... the chance once a year get to be Cinderella. It was the only excuse in my life to go all out and dress up formally. Of course, that would be Greg's LEAST favorite thing about the Balls. Then there was the ceremony. Everyone stands as the cake is escorted into the room and the Marine Corps Hymn plays. Fallen Marines are remembered. The youngest and oldest Marines are served the first pieces of the cake. One of the few events I've gone to over the years where usually the keynote speaker is actually worth listening to. Then of course the dancing... again, not Greg's favorite part.

Since he retired in 2002 we haven't been back to a Marine Corps Ball and I do miss them. But I'm glad the tradition continues on... because a birthday is worth celebrating.

Happy 234th and Semper Fidelis!

quick interlude

Whine, whine, whine, whine... boy that last post was a downer. I keep meaning to get back and lift the overall attitude of this place, but I've just been so busy.... big improvement.

Right now, I don't have time. We're heading out to snowshoe in the quickly melting powder. But I am going to get back to this... with a better attitude!

Which Gilligan's Island Character are You?

Lydia is in charge of the Netflix queue. It's interesting to see what videos show up in the mail as each of my kids has taken control of the selections. For awhile it was all zombie movies, but then Caleb left for an adventure in New Zealand and the need for the zombie adrenaline rush around here isn't so much anymore. Recently Lydia ordered the first season of Gilligan's Island. She says that she has never seen Gilligan's Island. Wow, I'm pretty sure that is a negative 'mom point' for me. How could I have never introduced her to Gilligan's Island? It's a cultural icon. There are so many references you will completely miss if you don't know Gilligan's Island. Since I've failed her in this area, she took it upon her self to get educated in Gilligan.

We've developed this daily routine over the past few months of taking a lunch break from whatever we are working on and sitting together to watch videos. The other day it was Gilligan. Lydia stuck in the disc and started it up. The theme song began. ...side note here... I'm not a musician, and I have a terrible time remembering songs and words to songs. The rest of my family is amazing! Lydia has a beautiful voice and can sing anything you ask in perfect tune... but not me. This time though, I have a chance. It's the Gilligan's Island theme song for heavens sake... I can sing that! I start singing along. I know all the words... until... "the mov...ie star, the Professor and Mary Ann... here..." Wait a minute... the song is wrong! Did you know that in the first season of Gilligan's Island that the Professor and Mary Ann are left out of the theme song? I was stunned. And of course Lydia is looking at me like 'sure you know the song Mom, right.' I DO know the song!

Can you image Gilligan's Island without the Professor and Mary Ann? The island community would not be the same. It would be incomplete and frankly, hard to watch. First you have Mr. and Mrs. Howell, caricatures of rich people, hardly something you would want to watch a whole show about. Then there is Ginger, the beautiful movie star, on her own, not very interesting. And of course, there is the Skipper and Gilligan. I think Gilligan gets a bad rap. Watching these early shows it's pretty clear that the Skipper is as much responsible for the mishaps as Gilligan, but the lovable, clumsy Gilligan gets the blame every time. The five characters together do not make a complete community.

Without the Professor there isn't a brain among them. The things he could do were incredible! I'm sure given another season he could have invented the internet with that radio of his. He was the logic and without the logic the antics of the others would have never been pulled together into a sensible story line. Then there is Mary Ann, sweet down to earth Mary Ann. Without Mary Ann there wouldn't have been a character with which the average person could connect. She was the girl next door. She was me. (well, maybe not those short shorts) But in that first season neither of them is even mentioned in the theme song. It seems as if the characters had to prove their value in order to be a full part of the cast... to be included in their own song!

I can relate to that. The day before Greg and I were married 27 years ago, he accepted a commission into the Marine Corps. For twenty years I was a Marine wife. They say it's the toughest job in the Corps. Maybe. There are so many things I loved about that life. I loved living in new and interesting places. We lived two years in Guantanamo Bay long before it was the notorious Gitmo... and we loved it. We have friends literally all over the world. I wouldn't trade any of those years or duty stations for anything. There were hard times though. With every move to another duty station there was that period of anonymity. In some ways I enjoyed the first six months after a move. It was quiet. No one knew me, no one called. I could get a lot done as far as moving in and getting settled. On the other hand... no one knew me, no one called. It could be a very isolated feeling.

I can remember so many times walking around the commissary, going to a restaurant, walking around the neighborhood... and worst, going to church and wanting to scream... I AM SOMEBODY! ...there are people who know me, people who love me, people who know my gifts and talents and know that I count, I'm important!!! ...but they just aren't here. And it feels like people are looking right through me. I realize a lot of people probably feel that way but it's something the military families have to deal with every couple of years as they move on to the next duty station. It's probably why the military communities I've been in have been the strongest. We realize you just don't have time for all the junk of proving yourself to others in order to just get to be in your own theme song!

God has also taught me over the years that there are times where He wants me to be still. I can think of a couple of duty stations where I never did really find my place. It frustrated me at the time, however with hindsight I can see that God was putting me in a 'time out'. Giving me a rest time before He moved me on to another place where He had a big plan for me. A place where my talents and gifts would be used. The next place was a place of working hard, full of creativity and a lot of busyness and some of the best times I've ever had. But God knew I needed a rest first.

I'm spending time now wondering where I am. I feel like the poor Professor and Mary Ann. I've lived here for two years and I still haven't figured this out. I've got so much to offer, but doors keep shutting in my face. Why is that? Maybe God has me in a time out again. Maybe he wants me in a new place I've never thought of looking. 'Waiting on the Lord' for direction is a REALLY hard thing! When I think that maybe I'm in a quiet place until the next big exciting thing comes along... it's not so bad. But I sure would like a peek at what's coming next!

The Professor and Mary Ann did eventually get in the theme song... and that's how we all remember it. There really is only one way it can end... "....the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle......"

This picture inspires me. You would think as obsessed as I am about organization that this would inspire me to go clean out my cluttered inbox and shred up all my junk mail, but that's not it. This is a picture from an exhibit I saw in DC a few years ago at the Freer Gallery called In The Beginning, The Bible Before the Year 1000. I was fascinated. I saw it three times and would see it again in a heartbeat.

The idea that these monks spent their lives copying the scriptures to pass on to future generations amazed me. So much so that I actually decided to give it a try. I spent my Thanksgiving vacation that year bent over a table intent on copying the book of James. I wanted to try it for myself and well, James is pretty short so I figured it was a good start. Now, I am not a neat writer, often my handwriting is atrocious. But I took my time, slowly penning each letter. It was a transforming way to go through the book. There was no skimming over words and no stopping to study or analyze a phrase. Just one letter, one word at a time, carefully and intently. The words truly just seeping in as I wrote.

In 1896 - 98 Solomon Shechter and Charles Taylor had the contents of the Cairo Genizah shipped to Cambridge to research. That's what is in this picture. When these early scribes made an error or typo in their printing they didn't drop the paper in the recycle bin, or put it in the shredder. They considered these writings to be sacred, therefore they had to be disposed of in an honorable way... which of course takes time. So, like I often do, they procrastined and put these mess-ups in a special room called a genizah. Eventually someone decided they didn't have time to deal with all this paperwork and they just sealed up the room. Centuries later along comes Schechter and Taylor discovering a treasure trove of history.

The exhibit itself was full of these little pieces of paper, written by men who were just a few generations away from Christ himself. But all these scrapes of paper in this picture... are mistakes. Around the next corner of the exhibit were finished books. Gold embossed, beautifully illustrated, perfectly printed and bound. Amazing. Inspiring. Gorgeous works. But the truth is, these scribes who created these awesome works, made a lot of mistakes in the process. (and thank heavens they didn't have a shredder!) I think that's good to know. For me at least. I certainly make a lot of mistakes in the process. Not every word printed will be perfect, not every drawing drawn, not every weaving woven, not every painting painted, not every project planned... I just need to keep going and learn in the process. Who knows, maybe someday, even my scrapes will inspire someone. As long as I don't shred it all in a fit of organization!

mulling things over

I'm in the process of redefining myself... =0) Meanwhile, I found this quote on another blog that I thought was interesting....

"Our bodies are garbage heaps: we collect experience, and from the decomposition of the thrown-out eggshells, spinach leaves, coffee grinds, and old steak bones out of our minds, come nitrogen, heat, and very fertile soil. Out of this fertile soil bloom our poems and stories. But this does not come all at once. It takes time. Continue to turn over and over the organic details of your life until some of them fall through the garbage of discursive thoughts to the solid ground of black soil." Natalie Goldberg

I guess I'm still tilling.

God is in the details... and in the big picture

I love a beautiful view. I think most people do. I find when I’m hiking and I meet other hikers coming from the other direction they are always quick to mention if there is a great view ahead. I have so many pictures of Lydia and me standing on a ledge or a clearing looking out over valleys, lakes, rivers, more mountains rolling off in the distance…. Beautiful, breathtaking views.

So I was intrigued recently with a picture. We were hiking at a park not far from home with our friend Heather. This time we were hiking specifically to look at wildflowers and identify them. We started off slow, real slow. There were so many flowers! We’re walking along, looking down so as not to miss any. Lydia had her new wildflower book and was searching for names as we came upon new flowers. I was snapping pictures as we found them. It was really fun.

I happened to glance up and noticed… wow! What a beautiful view. I looked back at Lydia and Heather, intent upon finding the name to a new flower, and called them to look up. The whole situation struck me as so profound, I told them to just keep working and I snapped a picture of it.

It’s my life! I know God has the big picture. I know he has the future covered, it’s in good… no great hands. He knows the plan and where I’m going. What I can’t figure out is… where am I now? What am I supposed to be doing right now? It’s those details. Lydia has graduated, so I’m out of a job after 14 years of homeschooling. I haven’t really found my place in my community or church. I feel like I have so much to offer, I just don’t know what God wants me to do with it. I keep looking at the details, studying it… but so far, I haven’t figured out much.

Meanwhile, God still has that big picture under control. It’s there, I can look up and see it at anytime. So I just keep reading the book, looking for the details.

Here we go...

I started this blog a couple months ago and have sat looking at the blank page since. There are few things more intimidating than a blank canvas. As I’ve entered 2009 I have thought that this is the perfect time for me to begin a blog, taking the time to evaluate where I’m going and where I’ve been. 2009 will be a milestone year for me. During this year I will turn 50 years old. 50 years! Whoa…. How did that happen? Granted, it won’t be until the LAST week of 2009, but still… What have I done for 50 years? What will I do with the next 50?



Second milestone is the end of my career. Fourteen years ago God tricked me into homeschooling my kids. I never planned to do such a crazy thing! But we stepped into it, it seemed to fit and we kept going. Now I’ve no doubt it was the best choice we could have ever made for many, many reasons. But this year it comes to an end. I started homeschooling my son when he began first grade. This year my daughter will graduate. And I’ll be done with a fourteen-year adventure. It was an amazing and wonderful journey, but now I will have to decide what to do with the rest of my life. It’s not like this time has snuck up on me. I’ve been making a list for years of things I’d like to do. Now is the time to start sifting through those ideas to find the perfect nugget… to find where God wants me to go.

So now the empty canvas has been marked up and I can begin scratching out ideas and thoughts, it’ll be fun to see where it leads.