Whine, whine, whine, whine... boy that last post was a downer. I keep meaning to get back and lift the overall attitude of this place, but I've just been so busy.... big improvement.
Right now, I don't have time. We're heading out to snowshoe in the quickly melting powder. But I am going to get back to this... with a better attitude!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Which Gilligan's Island Character are You?
Lydia is in charge of the Netflix queue. It's interesting to see what videos show up in the mail as each of my kids has taken control of the selections. For awhile it was all zombie movies, but then Caleb left for an adventure in New Zealand and the need for the zombie adrenaline rush around here isn't so much anymore. Recently Lydia ordered the first season of Gilligan's Island. She says that she has never seen Gilligan's Island. Wow, I'm pretty sure that is a negative 'mom point' for me. How could I have never introduced her to Gilligan's Island? It's a cultural icon. There are so many references you will completely miss if you don't know Gilligan's Island. Since I've failed her in this area, she took it upon her self to get educated in Gilligan.
We've developed this daily routine over the past few months of taking a lunch break from whatever we are working on and sitting together to watch videos. The other day it was Gilligan. Lydia stuck in the disc and started it up. The theme song began. ...side note here... I'm not a musician, and I have a terrible time remembering songs and words to songs. The rest of my family is amazing! Lydia has a beautiful voice and can sing anything you ask in perfect tune... but not me. This time though, I have a chance. It's the Gilligan's Island theme song for heavens sake... I can sing that! I start singing along. I know all the words... until... "the mov...ie star, the Professor and Mary Ann... here..." Wait a minute... the song is wrong! Did you know that in the first season of Gilligan's Island that the Professor and Mary Ann are left out of the theme song? I was stunned. And of course Lydia is looking at me like 'sure you know the song Mom, right.' I DO know the song!
Can you image Gilligan's Island without the Professor and Mary Ann? The island community would not be the same. It would be incomplete and frankly, hard to watch. First you have Mr. and Mrs. Howell, caricatures of rich people, hardly something you would want to watch a whole show about. Then there is Ginger, the beautiful movie star, on her own, not very interesting. And of course, there is the Skipper and Gilligan. I think Gilligan gets a bad rap. Watching these early shows it's pretty clear that the Skipper is as much responsible for the mishaps as Gilligan, but the lovable, clumsy Gilligan gets the blame every time. The five characters together do not make a complete community.
Without the Professor there isn't a brain among them. The things he could do were incredible! I'm sure given another season he could have invented the internet with that radio of his. He was the logic and without the logic the antics of the others would have never been pulled together into a sensible story line. Then there is Mary Ann, sweet down to earth Mary Ann. Without Mary Ann there wouldn't have been a character with which the average person could connect. She was the girl next door. She was me. (well, maybe not those short shorts) But in that first season neither of them is even mentioned in the theme song. It seems as if the characters had to prove their value in order to be a full part of the cast... to be included in their own song!
I can relate to that. The day before Greg and I were married 27 years ago, he accepted a commission into the Marine Corps. For twenty years I was a Marine wife. They say it's the toughest job in the Corps. Maybe. There are so many things I loved about that life. I loved living in new and interesting places. We lived two years in Guantanamo Bay long before it was the notorious Gitmo... and we loved it. We have friends literally all over the world. I wouldn't trade any of those years or duty stations for anything. There were hard times though. With every move to another duty station there was that period of anonymity. In some ways I enjoyed the first six months after a move. It was quiet. No one knew me, no one called. I could get a lot done as far as moving in and getting settled. On the other hand... no one knew me, no one called. It could be a very isolated feeling.
I can remember so many times walking around the commissary, going to a restaurant, walking around the neighborhood... and worst, going to church and wanting to scream... I AM SOMEBODY! ...there are people who know me, people who love me, people who know my gifts and talents and know that I count, I'm important!!! ...but they just aren't here. And it feels like people are looking right through me. I realize a lot of people probably feel that way but it's something the military families have to deal with every couple of years as they move on to the next duty station. It's probably why the military communities I've been in have been the strongest. We realize you just don't have time for all the junk of proving yourself to others in order to just get to be in your own theme song!
God has also taught me over the years that there are times where He wants me to be still. I can think of a couple of duty stations where I never did really find my place. It frustrated me at the time, however with hindsight I can see that God was putting me in a 'time out'. Giving me a rest time before He moved me on to another place where He had a big plan for me. A place where my talents and gifts would be used. The next place was a place of working hard, full of creativity and a lot of busyness and some of the best times I've ever had. But God knew I needed a rest first.
I'm spending time now wondering where I am. I feel like the poor Professor and Mary Ann. I've lived here for two years and I still haven't figured this out. I've got so much to offer, but doors keep shutting in my face. Why is that? Maybe God has me in a time out again. Maybe he wants me in a new place I've never thought of looking. 'Waiting on the Lord' for direction is a REALLY hard thing! When I think that maybe I'm in a quiet place until the next big exciting thing comes along... it's not so bad. But I sure would like a peek at what's coming next!
The Professor and Mary Ann did eventually get in the theme song... and that's how we all remember it. There really is only one way it can end... "....the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle......"
We've developed this daily routine over the past few months of taking a lunch break from whatever we are working on and sitting together to watch videos. The other day it was Gilligan. Lydia stuck in the disc and started it up. The theme song began. ...side note here... I'm not a musician, and I have a terrible time remembering songs and words to songs. The rest of my family is amazing! Lydia has a beautiful voice and can sing anything you ask in perfect tune... but not me. This time though, I have a chance. It's the Gilligan's Island theme song for heavens sake... I can sing that! I start singing along. I know all the words... until... "the mov...ie star, the Professor and Mary Ann... here..." Wait a minute... the song is wrong! Did you know that in the first season of Gilligan's Island that the Professor and Mary Ann are left out of the theme song? I was stunned. And of course Lydia is looking at me like 'sure you know the song Mom, right.' I DO know the song!
Can you image Gilligan's Island without the Professor and Mary Ann? The island community would not be the same. It would be incomplete and frankly, hard to watch. First you have Mr. and Mrs. Howell, caricatures of rich people, hardly something you would want to watch a whole show about. Then there is Ginger, the beautiful movie star, on her own, not very interesting. And of course, there is the Skipper and Gilligan. I think Gilligan gets a bad rap. Watching these early shows it's pretty clear that the Skipper is as much responsible for the mishaps as Gilligan, but the lovable, clumsy Gilligan gets the blame every time. The five characters together do not make a complete community.
Without the Professor there isn't a brain among them. The things he could do were incredible! I'm sure given another season he could have invented the internet with that radio of his. He was the logic and without the logic the antics of the others would have never been pulled together into a sensible story line. Then there is Mary Ann, sweet down to earth Mary Ann. Without Mary Ann there wouldn't have been a character with which the average person could connect. She was the girl next door. She was me. (well, maybe not those short shorts) But in that first season neither of them is even mentioned in the theme song. It seems as if the characters had to prove their value in order to be a full part of the cast... to be included in their own song!
I can relate to that. The day before Greg and I were married 27 years ago, he accepted a commission into the Marine Corps. For twenty years I was a Marine wife. They say it's the toughest job in the Corps. Maybe. There are so many things I loved about that life. I loved living in new and interesting places. We lived two years in Guantanamo Bay long before it was the notorious Gitmo... and we loved it. We have friends literally all over the world. I wouldn't trade any of those years or duty stations for anything. There were hard times though. With every move to another duty station there was that period of anonymity. In some ways I enjoyed the first six months after a move. It was quiet. No one knew me, no one called. I could get a lot done as far as moving in and getting settled. On the other hand... no one knew me, no one called. It could be a very isolated feeling.
I can remember so many times walking around the commissary, going to a restaurant, walking around the neighborhood... and worst, going to church and wanting to scream... I AM SOMEBODY! ...there are people who know me, people who love me, people who know my gifts and talents and know that I count, I'm important!!! ...but they just aren't here. And it feels like people are looking right through me. I realize a lot of people probably feel that way but it's something the military families have to deal with every couple of years as they move on to the next duty station. It's probably why the military communities I've been in have been the strongest. We realize you just don't have time for all the junk of proving yourself to others in order to just get to be in your own theme song!
God has also taught me over the years that there are times where He wants me to be still. I can think of a couple of duty stations where I never did really find my place. It frustrated me at the time, however with hindsight I can see that God was putting me in a 'time out'. Giving me a rest time before He moved me on to another place where He had a big plan for me. A place where my talents and gifts would be used. The next place was a place of working hard, full of creativity and a lot of busyness and some of the best times I've ever had. But God knew I needed a rest first.
I'm spending time now wondering where I am. I feel like the poor Professor and Mary Ann. I've lived here for two years and I still haven't figured this out. I've got so much to offer, but doors keep shutting in my face. Why is that? Maybe God has me in a time out again. Maybe he wants me in a new place I've never thought of looking. 'Waiting on the Lord' for direction is a REALLY hard thing! When I think that maybe I'm in a quiet place until the next big exciting thing comes along... it's not so bad. But I sure would like a peek at what's coming next!
The Professor and Mary Ann did eventually get in the theme song... and that's how we all remember it. There really is only one way it can end... "....the Professor and Mary Ann, here on Gilligan's Isle......"
Monday, July 27, 2009
This picture inspires me. You would think as obsessed as I am about organization that this would inspire me to go clean out my cluttered inbox and shred up all my junk mail, but that's not it. This is a picture from an exhibit I saw in DC a few years ago at the Freer Gallery called In The Beginning, The Bible Before the Year 1000. I was fascinated. I saw it three times and would see it again in a heartbeat.
The idea that these monks spent their lives copying the scriptures to pass on to future generations amazed me. So much so that I actually decided to give it a try. I spent my Thanksgiving vacation that year bent over a table intent on copying the book of James. I wanted to try it for myself and well, James is pretty short so I figured it was a good start. Now, I am not a neat writer, often my handwriting is atrocious. But I took my time, slowly penning each letter. It was a transforming way to go through the book. There was no skimming over words and no stopping to study or analyze a phrase. Just one letter, one word at a time, carefully and intently. The words truly just seeping in as I wrote.
In 1896 - 98 Solomon Shechter and Charles Taylor had the contents of the Cairo Genizah shipped to Cambridge to research. That's what is in this picture. When these early scribes made an error or typo in their printing they didn't drop the paper in the recycle bin, or put it in the shredder. They considered these writings to be sacred, therefore they had to be disposed of in an honorable way... which of course takes time. So, like I often do, they procrastined and put these mess-ups in a special room called a genizah. Eventually someone decided they didn't have time to deal with all this paperwork and they just sealed up the room. Centuries later along comes Schechter and Taylor discovering a treasure trove of history.
The exhibit itself was full of these little pieces of paper, written by men who were just a few generations away from Christ himself. But all these scrapes of paper in this picture... are mistakes. Around the next corner of the exhibit were finished books. Gold embossed, beautifully illustrated, perfectly printed and bound. Amazing. Inspiring. Gorgeous works. But the truth is, these scribes who created these awesome works, made a lot of mistakes in the process. (and thank heavens they didn't have a shredder!) I think that's good to know. For me at least. I certainly make a lot of mistakes in the process. Not every word printed will be perfect, not every drawing drawn, not every weaving woven, not every painting painted, not every project planned... I just need to keep going and learn in the process. Who knows, maybe someday, even my scrapes will inspire someone. As long as I don't shred it all in a fit of organization!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
mulling things over
I'm in the process of redefining myself... =0) Meanwhile, I found this quote on another blog that I thought was interesting....
I guess I'm still tilling.
"Our bodies are garbage heaps: we collect experience, and from the decomposition of the thrown-out eggshells, spinach leaves, coffee grinds, and old steak bones out of our minds, come nitrogen, heat, and very fertile soil. Out of this fertile soil bloom our poems and stories. But this does not come all at once. It takes time. Continue to turn over and over the organic details of your life until some of them fall through the garbage of discursive thoughts to the solid ground of black soil." Natalie Goldberg
I guess I'm still tilling.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
God is in the details... and in the big picture
I love a beautiful view. I think most people do. I find when I’m hiking and I meet other hikers coming from the other direction they are always quick to mention if there is a great view ahead. I have so many pictures of Lydia and me standing on a ledge or a clearing looking out over valleys, lakes, rivers, more mountains rolling off in the distance…. Beautiful, breathtaking views.
So I was intrigued recently with a picture. We were hiking at a park not far from home with our friend Heather. This time we were hiking specifically to look at wildflowers and identify them. We started off slow, real slow. There were so many flowers! We’re walking along, looking down so as not to miss any. Lydia had her new wildflower book and was searching for names as we came upon new flowers. I was snapping pictures as we found them. It was really fun.
I happened to glance up and noticed… wow! What a beautiful view. I looked back at Lydia and Heather, intent upon finding the name to a new flower, and called them to look up. The whole situation struck me as so profound, I told them to just keep working and I snapped a picture of it.
It’s my life! I know God has the big picture. I know he has the future covered, it’s in good… no great hands. He knows the plan and where I’m going. What I can’t figure out is… where am I now? What am I supposed to be doing right now? It’s those details. Lydia has graduated, so I’m out of a job after 14 years of homeschooling. I haven’t really found my place in my community or church. I feel like I have so much to offer, I just don’t know what God wants me to do with it. I keep looking at the details, studying it… but so far, I haven’t figured out much.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Here we go...
I started this blog a couple months ago and have sat looking at the blank page since. There are few things more intimidating than a blank canvas. As I’ve entered 2009 I have thought that this is the perfect time for me to begin a blog, taking the time to evaluate where I’m going and where I’ve been. 2009 will be a milestone year for me. During this year I will turn 50 years old. 50 years! Whoa…. How did that happen? Granted, it won’t be until the LAST week of 2009, but still… What have I done for 50 years? What will I do with the next 50?
Second milestone is the end of my career. Fourteen years ago God tricked me into homeschooling my kids. I never planned to do such a crazy thing! But we stepped into it, it seemed to fit and we kept going. Now I’ve no doubt it was the best choice we could have ever made for many, many reasons. But this year it comes to an end. I started homeschooling my son when he began first grade. This year my daughter will graduate. And I’ll be done with a fourteen-year adventure. It was an amazing and wonderful journey, but now I will have to decide what to do with the rest of my life. It’s not like this time has snuck up on me. I’ve been making a list for years of things I’d like to do. Now is the time to start sifting through those ideas to find the perfect nugget… to find where God wants me to go.
So now the empty canvas has been marked up and I can begin scratching out ideas and thoughts, it’ll be fun to see where it leads.
Second milestone is the end of my career. Fourteen years ago God tricked me into homeschooling my kids. I never planned to do such a crazy thing! But we stepped into it, it seemed to fit and we kept going. Now I’ve no doubt it was the best choice we could have ever made for many, many reasons. But this year it comes to an end. I started homeschooling my son when he began first grade. This year my daughter will graduate. And I’ll be done with a fourteen-year adventure. It was an amazing and wonderful journey, but now I will have to decide what to do with the rest of my life. It’s not like this time has snuck up on me. I’ve been making a list for years of things I’d like to do. Now is the time to start sifting through those ideas to find the perfect nugget… to find where God wants me to go.
So now the empty canvas has been marked up and I can begin scratching out ideas and thoughts, it’ll be fun to see where it leads.
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